Friday Afternoon Update! 29: The “Monkeys and Chickens” edition

Monkeys and Chickens

Oh boy. What a week! Packed to the gills despite the complete absence of monkeys and chickens! Although it started out close enough to monkey territory with the 3rd annual (so it seems!) Jungle Birthday Party for Rowan. This year it was a Roar party–Get Your Roar On as it were, so that Rowan had an excuse to spend 3 hours roarin’, I think. 

And if 30 kids in a 300 square foot space is the kind of thought that gives you the chills and sends you running for medication of one sort or another, imagine 30 kids playing drums, jumping through flaming hula hoops, Roaring at will, breaking piñatas, taking unsupervised elevator rides, pumped up on chocolate cake and juice, and basically being as Jungle-y as 2-3-4-5 year olds can get, and there you have a picture of Sunday afternoon over this way.

Strangely enough, it all seemed surreally serene to me, and it was only when I was describing the scene to a friend that I realized just how chaotic the whole thing was. Did I mention the pigeon? Oh. Well. Use your imagination, please! Enough to say that it came to roost and refused to leave anything more than deposits until it saw what the little beasts were doing to the Lion during piñata time, at which point it got wise and flew the coop.

And that was Sunday!

Monday was the zoo and the grandparents. One of the unique pleasures of having the grandparents over to visit is sleeping in what can only be described as completely uncomfortable conditions. Because that’s how it works. We give Nana and Happy (I’m not making this up!) our bed, and Randi and I end up sleeping on a futon that feels kind of like…well, let’s put it this way. When I was in high school I had a book called How to be a Grouch, by Oscar the Grouch, and one of the chapters offered Oscar’s sleeping suggestions:

Fill your bed with rocks, make a nice pile of trash on the floor and use it for a pillow.

I think Oscar was getting off easy there compared to what Randi and I get when the ‘rents come to visit. Good thing we love ‘em!

And that was the first 2 nights of the week! 

So after 2 nights of that I did the quick recovery and presented The Art of Spring Cleaning. Somehow there was a schism between my spirit and my physical condition–I was in excellent spirits and gave a smashing presentation! Can’t wait for the chance to lead a group of intrepid souls on a 7 day cleanse next week. Are you one of those brave souls who wants to journey into the land of fresh food, clean digestive tracts, and swine flu resistant immune systems?

Please note that the previous statement was neither evaluated nor approved by the FDA or the AMA or any other Governmental or Non-Governmental Organization, and contains only the approval of the infamous Non-Doc, who would like to add that this is your last chance this year to go on a Spring Cleaning Safari led by yours truly!

That’s right. Summer is fast upon us and the strategic timing of cleansing with the seasons is drawing to a close. So what are you waiting for? Click the clicker, listen to Tuesday’s call, read the sales page. You have nothing to lose but your intestinal garbage, your lethargy, your lingering head cold, your fear of exotic (and financially lucrative for pharmaceutical companies) pig related viruses!

Oh oh oh. The Twitter conundrum. 

Havi and Pistachio had their Twitter-ific Non-Strategies for Twitter call on Wednesday, and I missed it, ‘cos I was at music class with Rowan, and the recording only came live last night. Later than I should have been up. So I’ll have to wait til later today to see if they answered the question that is burning in my breast so dearly: 

If I’m not internet famous like Havi and Pistachio (who gets the number two hit for “pistachio” on google btw…beat out only by the wikipedia reference to the nut she named herself after!), then how the hell do I harness the Power and Good Will of all of my “followers” to spread the word far and wide when I have a super exciting project to tell the world and all of my “right people” about?

Do I really have to stretch out of my comfort zone and resort to the dreaded ask? Is that what it comes down to, people? Do I have to ask you to tweet this post? Do I have to ask you to tell your friends that the immortal Non-Doc is leading a Spring Cleanse Safari guaranteed to Increase your Vitality, make your Digestive Tract a Less Cozy Home for Parasites and other Creepy Crawlies, and maybe Knock Off a Pound or Two of Crap at the same time? Is this what it comes down to? Ay yi yi!

Can’t I just sit around in pajamas reading blog posts and eating chocolate all day? What’s up with this web 2.0 reaction anyway? Did I miss something in the fine print?

Okay. That’s that. Consider yourself asked. Consider me gone. ‘Til Monday. Love to you all.

Chas, the Illustrious Non-Doc

photo by karen.tkr