friday afternoon update! 16: back on the couch

in which i look back at monday and ask: how the heck did i get here?

big wheels keep on spinning

so yeah. it’s been one of those weeks. like huh! everyone seems to be doing something but me. spin spin spin. and then the capper is when i am talking to a client and i mention that i don’t really keep up on the movies anymore, and i never watch television (inauguration excluded), and she expresses surprise and asks:

what do you do with your time?

huh…what do i do with my time? yeah (stupid effing computer screen).

an old trick involving an egg timer

so maybe it’s time for  that old tim leary trick of setting the 5 minute time to keep track of my simple time-space-action coordinates for a week in order to find out! yeah!

back on the couch

so i’m back on the couch at 6:15. yeah. i’ve been doing my morning pages and my morning meditation in bed since i returned home four weeks ago…and not surprisingly i’ve been finding it easy to sleep in until the last minute. you know the drill. count forward and backward in time and how late can i get up and still do what i need to do and do i really need to eat breakfast? (yes! oatmeal with apple and yogurt!)

yeah. so today i recognized that propping the blank pages on my knees in the almost pitch dark of 6am with my iphone as my light source…well…that really isn’t cutting it. and besides…sabina really misses coming by to snuggle and do the crazy purring thing while i write my mp’s on the couch in the deep quiet of the early morning. so here i am. yes. it’s good to be back. thanks.

watching the world wake up

one of the great things about being on the couch at 6:15 is that i get to watch the world slowly waking up. i can see my neighbor walk out to his car to drive to work and be like wow! other people are awake!

and i can be like wow! so glad i don’t have a job! and…well i guess there will always be jobs…and more and more i am seeing that people don’t really want as many of them as they used to. and in my circles the job thing seems to be so 20th century.

huh. after all it wasn’t all that long ago that most people got by without one. what was it? industrial revolution? okay history majors: when did people start getting jobs?

yeah. see…i’m still of the opinion that the best place to put the stimulus money…at least a good chunk of it…is into the operating budget of a good healthy chunk of not quite off the ground entrepreneurs. so that it could be spent on all the make shift currently evolving loose knit network of support that the entrepreneurs need to make their thing happen.

• pens and paper and printer ink and all that staples stuff. 
• business cards and postcards and photography and copy and all that marketing stuff. 
• coffee and computers and people who fix computers and software and conversations and coaches and all that idea supporting stuff.

and then thousands of former wage slaves could be out there making true the credo of life liberty and pursuit of happiness. thousands of microbiz peeps giving money to other microbiz peeps. and so on. yeah. that’s my heaven.

real life butts in

oh. did i mention that randi wrecked the car?

sigh.

it’s alright. we are re-learning how to live with one. it’s all good.

and did i mention my realization that all marketing is ideally hanging out with other people? having chris brogan’s cafe sized conversations? and that i seriously don’t get out enough? and that we don’t really actually want to live inside our computers? stupid effing twitter.

huh. well…consider it mentioned.

what about the passion?

oh yeah. funny thing about that. i knew when i decided to take on passion as my healing agent of the week that it was a big chunk to bite into. and that i was unlikely to finish it off in one sitting. as it were.

and here’s what i came up with:

passion 2: those things that you do regardless

for me some of these would be:

• cooking
• gardening
• chasing rowan around the house
• writing my morning pages and blog
• meditation and yoga

so…smaller passions and passions nonetheless, the things in passion 2 are the things that keep me alive, that make life worth living. and yet…

passion 1: that thing that gets pushed away to my detriment

this would be the thing that haunts you if you don’t give it it’s due. that thing that infests your dreams. that thing that most of your waking thoughts are either circling around or moving you toward. that thing that makes life transcend mere living. that thing that you are here to do. the reason you are living.

that thing that most of us push to the side. to our own detriment. and to the detriment of the world.

for me that passion is writing songs and singing them. i’m a ghost of a person when i don’t feed that.

boo!

and how about you? what’s that thing that you ignore to your own detriment? what’s that thing that you fearfully hide from the rest of us who are so hungry and thirsty for it? come on. spill it!

Tags: apple, friday afternoon, happiness, healing, morning pages, motivator, passion, yoga

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