awww nuts!

so it all started with a jar of nuts. raw cashews. love ‘em. too much maybe. leaned on ‘em when times were tough and now they always seem to be answer numero uno. as in:

i’m feeling a little hungry (grab that jar of nuts!)
i’m bored  (grab those nuts!)
oh, look at that pile of important papers (must grab nuts!)

yes indeed, the solution to every shift of energy has become grabbing my nuts! yikes!

from nuts to fruits

so today, after putting the laundry in the dryer, and heading toward my little screen to finish reading the dancing geek’s defense of laziness, i reached for my nuts. the cashews. and then…something happened…and i decided to have something with the nuts. an apple. or maybe…as my eyes scan the immediate reachable zone…a banana. yeah…a banana…easy to peel, easy to eat…just what benjamin franklin ordered.

and wait! already my left hand, my nut grabbling hand, is starting to reverse trajectory and head back to the cabinet. how about an apple and a banana. both easy to eat. both infinitely better for me in my current nut-besotted condition than another 3 or 4 handfuls of cashews. and without even getting a silent verbal affirmation, the nut hand is setting the jar back in its place, and opening the fridge for that apple, which is organic by the way, of unconfirmed genetic lineage (gala perhaps?), and small, for small hands, which mine are definitely not (although my son’s are…and i bought them half for him).

the shadow version

so that was a great example of the power of the moment, when these tiny little things can happen which seem to be of no practical consequence, and which end up being little seeds that grow great trees, or butterfly sneezes that turn into vortexes of change, sweeping us up into our own personal land of oz.

and the flip side of that was just last night when sabina got out the back door after hours. sabina is the cat, and she is not allowed out after dark, and it’s quite a drama when she is out after dark, and i had just brought her in at 8pm, when suddenly she is out again at 8:45. of course, welling up from within me is that voice, the one that wanted to say “who the hell let the cat out! i want to so much trouble to get her in the house and keep her in the house” when i suddenly realize…oh! it was me. i left both of the back doors open, and in so doing opened the doorway to all the drama that occurs when sabina gets out after dark.

and so i shut my mouth and let the situation resolve itself without insinuating myself as the fixer. and gee golly if it wasn’t half as dramatic as usual. huh.

one eye open

two bananas and an apple later i’m ready to dive back into laziness, with one eye open for those little moments that shift our paths, open locked doors, signal the approach of the winds of change. one less dramatic evening, one less nut drunk afternoon. the next time i hear that voice, i’m going to turn my good eye straight toward it, look that guy square on, and watch him to blink.